What If We Worked in Gondor? Exploring Tolkien's Realm

Liz Clyde: 00:01:10

Foreign.

Evan Garcia: 00:01:16

Welcome to Systematic Ecology. This is a what if episode. Welcome, welcome.

Today we have Liz and we have Nick here to talk about a topic about Lord of the Rings and what if we had jobs in Gondor? So this should be fun. What do you think, guys? You think this is a good topic? That's gonna stretch until. Until we can. Until we can make something up.

Liz Clyde: 00:01:45

I mean, we have Nick, who is the Tolkien head. So we could literally spend all night talking about what if in Middle Earth.

Nick Polk: 00:01:53

I mean, there's literally books and dissertations written on the like, the civil structure of each like, of Gondor and of Rohan. So we can do this. We can do this.

Evan Garcia: 00:02:08

Okay, great. Well, that's good. That's good. Yeah. I just want to start off with let's do the. What we are geeking out on. We can do that real quick.

And then once we get through with that, we'll do. How do we get started with the Lord of the Rings? So who wants to go first? I'll give it to Nick.

Nick Polk: 00:02:31

Who's go first? Me. Thanks. I did want to go first over Peng. First time. Back in a little bit. So I've been geeking out on Gilmore Girls recently. Hey, it's.

My wife and I have been talking about going through it forever and we finally started going through it and we're almost done with season one, so no spoilers because I have not watched any of it ever.

Liz Clyde: 00:02:55

Oh, my gosh. And then you get to watch like the. When they all get grown up.

Nick Polk: 00:03:00

Yeah.

Liz Clyde: 00:03:00

I'm so jealous you're watching it for the first time.

Nick Polk: 00:03:03

It. I was surprised, like, I was anticipating liking it, but I did not know you love it. I love it, dude. I freaking love it. It's so good.

Liz Clyde: 00:03:11

I'm going to just randomly text you and like, ask where you're at so we can girl out.

Nick Polk: 00:03:16

Please, please. I just got to the part where Alex Medina and Lorelei, like, reconnect and Rory finds out. So anyway, for this.

Liz Clyde: 00:03:28

Wow. So that's.

Evan Garcia: 00:03:30

That's awesome.

Liz Clyde: 00:03:31

Going from that though. So I have to.

I have two geeking out thing because I'm known for romance, so I feel like I have to talk about the latest, hottest, bestest, if you will excuse my grammar. Romance anime of the season, which is honey lemon soda. It is as sweet as the name. It makes me blush like a little anime school girl.

It gives all the swooning and check of the box. And there's a shy girl and she just wants to come out of her show and there's a Hot boy who's helping her. Wow. It's just fantastic.

Nick Polk: 00:04:04

I'm just, I'm just seeing your face but with like the, the pink cheeks with the lines or whatever.

Liz Clyde: 00:04:09

That's exactly what happens. Like I'm like, there was one time the Chibi version. I'm literally watching it on my phone, episode one.

And I'm laying down next to my husband and like something happens and I'm like, I had to hold his hand. I'm like, oh my gosh. And I just like now that's how like, you know, like swooning it is. It's fantastic. Epic romance.

And now so I can show that I have diversity. I've been watching solo level seasoning to seasoning. Wow. Season two. So thinking out on that one because my honey lemon soda is just week.

Evan Garcia: 00:04:44

To week that Very nice, Very nice for me. I've been, I've been doing just the YouTube stuff, just whatever the doggram pushes to me and I find kind of interesting is the.

Just now I found the channel where this guy puts video games into random things. Like video game consoles into random things. Like he made a apple he into video game console. And I was like, this is amazing. And he's.

And he's soldering the boards into the apple and he's plugging all the things in and it freaking worked. It's a big apple. No.

Liz Clyde: 00:05:25

Oh, interesting.

Evan Garcia: 00:05:26

Yeah, I know, right? He was just. And then he. I found out that it's a spin off show from one that I was already watching.

But they, but they, but they do it with, with cars. They put like for Christmas they go can this car run with. Run with. Instead of oil with, with eggnog.

And they, and then they will put it in and the thing like it breaks, it explodes. But then they try to build it back and it's so fascinating that they're just doing this for fun. It's like, okay, so yeah, that's Brad.

Nick Polk: 00:06:08

What's the YouTube ch called? Do you know it?

Evan Garcia: 00:06:13

James Channel. That's the video game one. And then the one with the car is Garbage time I think it's called. I think it's. They're all spin offs of.

Of of the main channel was a dank pods where he would take old ipods and stuff like that and mod them. Yeah.

Nick Polk: 00:06:33

So yeah, I have to check it out.

Evan Garcia: 00:06:34

That sounds.

Nick Polk: 00:06:35

That sounds like I'd be scrolling through some shorts like for a long time.

Evan Garcia: 00:06:38

Yeah, yeah. Exactly, exactly, exactly. Good stuff, good stuff. Well, let's talk about the Lord of the Rings and this Humongous behemoth of pop culture.

And how did we get started in this? Whoever wants to, go ahead.

Liz Clyde: 00:06:57

I just remember watching it in theaters and I truly, honestly believe, no lie, no cap, if you will, that Lego Legolas is my first love. For real, for real, for real, for real. Like, and that, I mean, it was just. I was hooked. Like, I cannot think of like anyone.

Maybe Peter Pan, like from childhood, you know, like, he was my like childhood.

Evan Garcia: 00:07:24

Robin Williams Peter Pan?

Liz Clyde: 00:07:25

No, no, no, no. The cartoon, sir. The cartoon. Calm down. The 2D Peter Pan. Okay, but like as like a pre teen type deal, like.

Evan Garcia: 00:07:37

Right, for sure.

Liz Clyde: 00:07:38

It was, it was love.

Nick Polk: 00:07:39

Yeah, yeah. My sister had a Legol in her room.

Liz Clyde: 00:07:42

So he was just now, like. We rewatched, I think the Hobbit the other day. My husband's on a big Tolkien cake.

I told you, Nick, like, literally, it's always in the background now. And so just we have to pause for Legolas just to appreciate it every time he comes home.

Evan Garcia: 00:07:57

Oh, yeah, yeah. When I, when I started dating my now wife, she told me she was a big Legolas fan. And I was like, oh, yeah, cool, me too.

Yeah, he's a good looking guy. He's a great character. She's like, no, no, no, no, I love him. I was like, yeah. And then she shows me a picture of her and her roommate in college.

Literally the whole. Their whole dorm room was posters of him everywhere. And two giant, two giant standees and stuff that they were hugging.

I was like, oh, all righty then. Oh, let's go.

Liz Clyde: 00:08:36

He had that effect.

Evan Garcia: 00:08:37

Yeah, apparently so.

Nick Polk: 00:08:39

Man, they were like serious fans. Serious fans.

Evan Garcia: 00:08:42

Yeah. They went to every movie theater trying to get the same poster all around Virginia. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nick Polk: 00:08:52

Well, I guess I'll go next.

I, you know, I think I've talked about a little bit, but my beginning started not with Orlando Bloom as Legolas, unfortunately, but my, my nana used to own a video store in the 90s and she sold her. And so she had an animated vh, the animated version of the Hobbit from Rankin and Bass on vhs.

Evan Garcia: 00:09:13

Right on.

Nick Polk: 00:09:14

And so I watched it as a kid. Had no idea that there was right over your head. Right? No doubt. Just it was a fun kids movie, the Hobbit.

And then of course, the Peter Jackson movies came out and me and my family saw the Return of the King in theaters after we rented the first two movies that Blockbuster and have kind of been on the journey ever since.

Evan Garcia: 00:09:36

s or the early: 2000

The Peter Jackson movies came out. But we had just. We were in the movie theater, we saw it as a family. We saw something else as a family.

And we were walking out and there was a poster and, and. And I looked to my dad, hey, dad, what's that? And I didn't know who that was, but it was Frodo holding the ring out.

And then he goes, oh, that's the Lord of the Rings. Some people are going to be really excited about this movie. I'm like, what are you talking about? He goes, well, this is a really old story.

And, and, and, and like, a lot of people like it. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. And then I think it was like a year later, we go in and we see the movie and like, it's a big hit, like a huge hit.

Like, I went with my cousin and with my dad and me, and I'm like, wow, I love this movie. And then when the first movie ends, I remember just being so pissed. That's it. What? And then, and then, and then, and then my dad goes, yeah, they.

There's two more films, but they filmed them all already. They are just going to release them. My dad was. I didn't know, but my dad, he was into the lore and stuff. I was like, oh, wow. I had no idea. So.

So my dad wasn't a big fan, but he was a fan enough to get me kind of hooked on it too. Because, Because. Because when I went to him with some questions, he goes, here's. Here's. Here's my take. But here's. Here are the books.

And then we went to Barnes and Noble and I got the Fellowship of the Ring. To be honest, I couldn't finish that book, man. I couldn't finish it. I could not finish.

I got probably like 3/4 of the way through and I was just like, oh. But I didn't want to seem dumb from my friends because.

Because I don't know about you guys, but when I was in, when these movies came out, it was a cool thing. Like, you know how Christians, they show off with their Bible.

A lot of these nerds and like, to me, they were nerds because I didn't know what they're fans of, but they would walk around with the big version of Lord of the Rings, like they would show it off. So, so, so I try to do it to be cool, but I couldn't finish it. So I went to the Hobbit, I finished the Hobbit. And that was good.

Like, I blew through that one, but I couldn't finish the Fellowship. It was just like. We're still talking about a leaf falling off a tree. What is this? Like, I get the world building.

The characters are great, but I just can't. I don't got the time for this. But the movies were huge for me. They were, like, almost as close as a Star Wars. And then we went. We went.

There were Christmas release releases, right? The films.

Nick Polk: 00:13:00

Holiday releases, for sure.

Evan Garcia: 00:13:02

Yeah.

Nick Polk: 00:13:03

December.

Evan Garcia: 00:13:04

Okay. Because I remember when the Two Towers came out, we were on a trip here in Orlando. We lived in South Florida first. And then. But. But.

But we were here, and then we were at Downtown Disney and said, why is there so many people here? And then. And then somebody goes, oh, it's the opening day of the Two Towers. I was like, oh. So my dad and I, we bought tickets immediately, and we.

We squeezed in in the front of the theater. We had to look up, but it was like. Oh, yeah. And it was in that giant theater with the. It had two. Two. Two. Two separate balconies.

I don't know if you've been to this theater here. It's a massive auditorium, but they were playing it there, and it was like a huge party. Like, there were people dressed up. I was like, heck, yeah.

This is awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's my story there, if I remember correctly. Yeah.

Nick Polk: 00:14:08

Sometimes the Fellowship reading, the beginning reading, because I didn't read the books until I was in college. They're. They're tough. They're tough read. They're tough read.

Evan Garcia: 00:14:18

High school was, for me. Freshman year was when I first got into it, and I couldn't read it. I couldn't, and I never read it. I felt. So you.

You didn't fall to the peer pressure. That's. Well, you.

Liz Clyde: 00:14:33

I mean, I. Not to, you know, you know, sound so young, but when I was in high school, it was Twilight. That was the book.

Evan Garcia: 00:14:40

Okay. Yeah, sure. Yeah, Yeah.

Liz Clyde: 00:14:42

A little different age, but I just never. I got. I like the movies. No desire to read the books. Like, Taylor, my husband, like, he reread all of them recently.

Nick Polk: 00:14:52

Oh, yeah. My man. My man.

Liz Clyde: 00:14:54

It's. Y'all. Y'all love Tolkien. You guys have beards. Yellow. Just best friends.

Nick Polk: 00:14:59

I know. Tell me how I can apply to be the trophy wife. You know what I mean? You better watch out, dude.

Evan Garcia: 00:15:05

You got to share. You got to share.

Liz Clyde: 00:15:07

I'll share my husband. I need a break.

Evan Garcia: 00:15:09

Sometimes you find a little pastry cabin. Well, so the Topic today is what if we had jobs in the land of Gondor, the city of Gondor? What is it, Nick?

Nick Polk: 00:15:24

This is. So Gondor is a kingdom. Specifically, it is the southern kingdom of Men. And so it's the only kingdom of Men in Middle Earth, currently.

Well, not the only, but. Of the Numenorean race of Men. Yeah. There used to be two kingdoms in the north. There was one called Arnor and the southern kingdom, Gondor.

And there was lots of civil wars over time and eventually Gondor became. Became kind of the last place. And Minas Tirith is like the capital. Oh, is it the capital city? It's the main. Yeah.

I think it's like the capital city in. In the realm of Gondor. And then Osgiliath is to the south and is. Is also an important city in Gondor.

Evan Garcia: 00:16:14

Yeah, Right on, right on. Those. Those are names that I. I do remember those names. Yeah. Cool. Cool. So, yeah, so I was thinking about it and.

And I came up with a job, but it had a caveat. And the job was if. Well, I. I thought it was cool because I. I went with two with two different options.

One if it's in wartime and one if it's not wartime. Because that's kind of a big deal, I think, you know.

Nick Polk: 00:16:54

Yeah.

Evan Garcia: 00:16:55

One if it was wartime, I would love. Just more love to do it. The, the chain link.

I just want to put together that chain link because those, those, those DVD special features, man, they made that look so badass. I was just like, I gotta be that guy putting together the chain link. I was like. And you, you know, like, put on some music and I'll just go to town.

So. And then, and then if. And if it wasn't wartime. It's funny because of the whole trophy wife conversation. I think I would be a good stay at home, dad.

You know, just here to take care of the homestead, clean up, play with the kids, stuff like that. Keep the kids alive. I could do that.

Nick Polk: 00:17:54

Yeah. I like it. You know, and you're talking about chain link. You're talking about, like, the armor, right? Like, putting together the.

Evan Garcia: 00:17:59

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Liz Clyde: 00:18:01

So like, you were gonna. So a blacksmith.

Evan Garcia: 00:18:04

Oh, yeah, yeah. You would be a blacksmith. Yeah. Okay.

Liz Clyde: 00:18:08

As I was wondering when he, like, put the chain together.

Evan Garcia: 00:18:11

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry. Yeah, I had the visual in my head, but yeah, I'm seeing you with.

Nick Polk: 00:18:16

Your big gloves and your big apron, you know, maybe like a beard, you.

Evan Garcia: 00:18:20

Know, slow motion with the whole fire going off. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then with really big needle nose pliers to kind of bend the. Just with the loop in there. I do that all day.

Liz Clyde: 00:18:33

I have blacksmith before, so I was gonna choose that one too, but whatever. I'm gonna do something else considering I've actually like forged.

Evan Garcia: 00:18:42

But whatever I call clumsies.

Liz Clyde: 00:18:45

Yeah, you already. You call dibs. I'm going to choose something else now.

Evan Garcia: 00:18:48

Fine. My bad. My bad.

Liz Clyde: 00:18:51

It's fine.

Nick Polk: 00:18:51

Wait, so what did you. What did you forge?

Liz Clyde: 00:18:53

So I work for the only college in America that you can get a four year degree and a trades degree with. And so one of our trades is blacksmith. So I'll go into the forge and play sometimes.

Evan Garcia: 00:19:05

Whoa. Yeah, go into the forge and play sometimes.

Liz Clyde: 00:19:10

I'll send you guys a video. Maybe we'll like. Well, Evan, you're mainly with the social media more than I am. Maybe we should like pick a. We'll post that on our stories.

Yeah, my profession. Whenever we. Whenever we release this episode, we'll release that video. It's a lot of fun.

Evan Garcia: 00:19:27

That is awesome.

Nick Polk: 00:19:27

I need to get you a forge master helmet from the Mandalorian.

Liz Clyde: 00:19:31

Yeah. Yes, I would wear it. Okay. I like the stay at home dad thing. I would never want to be.

Evan Garcia: 00:19:36

I could pull it off. I could protect the homestead.

Liz Clyde: 00:19:40

That's good. You probably like your kids then.

Evan Garcia: 00:19:43

Right now.

Liz Clyde: 00:19:44

Yeah, at the moment.

Evan Garcia: 00:19:46

Yeah. Yeah.

Nick Polk: 00:19:47

Right now. Yeah. Currently. For sure. For sure.

Evan Garcia: 00:19:51

Check.

Liz Clyde: 00:19:53

Okay, let's see what would. Okay. I know my one without war. So my one without war. I would want to be the innkeeper because they have all the tea that like, you come, you go like.

And I can like, you know, I can serve you food. You need a place to lay your head. Like, you need some ale. You want some information, you gotta sweeten the part.

I just feel like I could be like the best innkeeper ever.

Evan Garcia: 00:20:21

Like, see some really cool fights.

Liz Clyde: 00:20:24

Yeah, right. Like, you know, but I'll be like, if a fight breaks out, I'll break it up. You know what I mean?

Evan Garcia: 00:20:29

Nice.

Liz Clyde: 00:20:29

Like I'll have like, I'll be able to defend my own shop.

Nick Polk: 00:20:32

Now is this going to be within the walls of Minas Tirith or are you going to be like, out, you know, in the.

Liz Clyde: 00:20:37

No, I want to be out. I want to be like a. Like, so wanderers can come, you know, nice and rest.

Evan Garcia: 00:20:42

There we the Prancing Pony too.

Liz Clyde: 00:20:45

O, but better.

Nick Polk: 00:20:47

What would your cavern be called? Come up with a name right now on the spot.

Liz Clyde: 00:20:52

Lizard Liz. I don't know.

Nick Polk: 00:20:53

Hey, can't wait to go down into the lizard, Liz, and get a. Oh.

Liz Clyde: 00:21:00

I guess you said prancing ponies. I. Singing a little dragon's keep or something. I don't know. It sounds better.

Evan Garcia: 00:21:09

More like a guild dragon's lair.

Liz Clyde: 00:21:11

Yeah, something like that. It just sounds a lot of fun. And for war, I think I. I would have said blacksmith, but it gets really, really hot. So I want to be. I think I want to be.

I think I want to be on the battlefield. If I'm not going to, like, be like on the behind the scenes. But I want to be almost like a Mary. You know what I mean?

Like, he was in the battle, but he ain't do much, but he thought.

Evan Garcia: 00:21:34

He did a lot. Yes, yes.

Nick Polk: 00:21:35

Like. Like partner. Get a partner. Ride like him. Someone does all the work.

Liz Clyde: 00:21:41

I want to be someone's like wingman in war. Like. Yeah, get him, get him, get him. He's on my tail. That's what I want to be.

Evan Garcia: 00:21:50

There you go.

Nick Polk: 00:21:51

There you go, man. That's a good one. And you know, if you're like Mary, technically in the books, it's. Mary is the reason why the Nazgul dies.

The Witch King, not Eowyn, the tag team, but Mary. Main reason, because he has a certain blade that can kill the Nazgul. But take a tag team. Yeah, yeah.

But the scene in the movies is way cooler with Eowyn taking off her helmet and saying, I am no man. Iconic. Iconic. You know, there's so many. There's. There's so many cool jobs, both wartime and not wartime. And I don't know, I think.

I think if it was not wartime. Oh, no, no, no. I lied. If it's wartime, I think I'd want to be like the beacons person, because.

Evan Garcia: 00:22:37

Oh, yeah.

Nick Polk: 00:22:40

That's the person who hangs out, who's ready to like, light the beacons, you know, in case they need aid. But so I'd be chilling. You know what I mean? Like, that'd be the chillest gig ever.

Because it's like this job is super important, but I'm not gonna die.

Evan Garcia: 00:22:56

And, you know, you're needed just once pretty much.

Nick Polk: 00:23:01

Right.

Evan Garcia: 00:23:02

Just at one time, you gotta show up.

Nick Polk: 00:23:05

Yeah. And I'm probably close enough to the castle where, like, I'm gonna be guarding the king or the steward, you know.

Evan Garcia: 00:23:12

Sweet gig.

Nick Polk: 00:23:14

Yeah.

Evan Garcia: 00:23:14

That is pretty cool.

Nick Polk: 00:23:15

Yeah. The guards of the Citadel. Yeah. This. The guys with the big winged helmets, they seem cool. They got a lot of.

They got a lot of strict rules, so I canceled them out. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. And then I guess in not war time, I don't know what I would do. I wasn't interested.

Liz Clyde: 00:23:36

Hang out at my tavern.

Nick Polk: 00:23:38

That's true. Oh, maybe I'll be. Maybe I'll be a bard. You know, I'll be a bard and non wartime. I'll sing at the. The Dragon's Keep or the.

Liz Clyde: 00:23:48

The Lizard.

Nick Polk: 00:23:49

The.

Liz Clyde: 00:23:49

The Lizard Lizard. I don't know.

Nick Polk: 00:23:53

And I'll be like. And I'll sing like the Witcher song or whatever.

Evan Garcia: 00:23:57

Toss a coin to your witcher.

Nick Polk: 00:24:00

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Liz Clyde: 00:24:02

Like when you need to take a break from the kids, you can come and have some ale. Evan. So.

Evan Garcia: 00:24:06

Amen. Amen.

Liz Clyde: 00:24:08

Look at that.

Evan Garcia: 00:24:09

I'm bringing my own covering. My own pint cups that I. That I forged myself.

Liz Clyde: 00:24:16

Yeah. I will keep you in business. So I would buy all my like from you. Nick will sing. Wow.

I mean, we could kind of do this in real life if you think about it. We can just quit all of our job.

Nick Polk: 00:24:30

Sure. I could do like, marketing too. Like, I'd sing. I'd make like, songs specifically about drinking at the Lizards.

Evan Garcia: 00:24:37

Liz.

Nick Polk: 00:24:38

And then also drinking out of. Out of Evan's blacksmith cup, you know.

Evan Garcia: 00:24:42

There you go.

Nick Polk: 00:24:42

You know, it'd just be a whole thing.

Liz Clyde: 00:24:44

Wow. I think this is really happening.

Nick Polk: 00:24:47

All these hobbits and like kings are doing like all this virtuous heroic stuff and we're over here like, running our own little business, scamming people.

Liz Clyde: 00:24:55

Yeah, no, yeah, I'm. I'm a big fan. You know, they can just do whatever they like. I'll just be in my bubble and they'll be fine. Oh, someone died outside.

As long as just when I was a teacher. I'm like, listen, y'all can fight, just not in my classroom. Wait till that bell rings. Y'all leave that door, I don't care what happens.

But not in this house.

Evan Garcia: 00:25:15

Clean up. No blood.

Liz Clyde: 00:25:16

I'll have the same thing. I'm like, listen. He's like, y'all can do whatever crap y'all want to do with the kingdom over there, but in this house?

Nick Polk: 00:25:23

No. That's so real. So real.

Evan Garcia: 00:25:26

That's awesome. That's awesome.

Liz Clyde: 00:25:29

So what kind of gander do you think? Like, so it's peaceful times. Because now is our Gandor going to be open to, like.

Like, we wouldn't see elves walking around or anything like that because it's pretty, like, niche for mankind. So I'm just saying, like, Legolas isn't going to come into my bar. That's my question. And we're not going to fall in love. I just need to know.

Nick Polk: 00:25:52

No, I mean, generally, elves have been kind of separated for hundreds of years at this point. But if you go back. Which Gondor hasn't been established. It just depends.

I don't know if we're in the Third Age, which is with the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings happen. Not a lot of interaction between men and elves, unfortunately. And after Aragorn wins the. All the elves go back to the the Undying Lands.

Liz Clyde: 00:26:18

Yeah.

Nick Polk: 00:26:19

Fade away.

Evan Garcia: 00:26:20

Can Elves get drunk?

Nick Polk: 00:26:23

I think people have talked about this.

Evan Garcia: 00:26:25

I.

Nick Polk: 00:26:26

Well, yes, they can. Because in the Hobbit, the elves get drunk off of wine. And that's how. And that's how Bilbo sneaks into the barrel.

Evan Garcia: 00:26:35

Oh, yes, you're right. Oh, that's fun. All right. Yeah. Yeah, that's totally right. Yeah, that's a strong.

Liz Clyde: 00:26:44

I'm not gonna marry Legolas. I guess I'll marry someone else then.

Nick Polk: 00:26:48

Yeah. What about. What's his name? Amir. You know, from.

Liz Clyde: 00:26:53

Which one is he again?

Nick Polk: 00:26:54

He's the. He's the. He's Aowin's brother. The horse guy. Carl Urban.

Evan Garcia: 00:26:59

Carl Urban. Let me.

Liz Clyde: 00:27:00

Let me Google him. Spell a.

Evan Garcia: 00:27:02

Judge Dread.

Nick Polk: 00:27:03

E O M E R. Yeah, I forgot he did Dread, too. Judge Dread.

Evan Garcia: 00:27:09

That was badass.

Nick Polk: 00:27:11

It was a great movie. Underrated. Underrated.

Evan Garcia: 00:27:15

More than 10. More than 10 years ago now. That movie came out. It's crazy.

Nick Polk: 00:27:19

years ago?: 2010

Evan Garcia: 00:27:23

Yep. I'm like, geez Louise.

Liz Clyde: 00:27:26

Yeah, he doesn't look that attractive.

Evan Garcia: 00:27:29

Not.

Nick Polk: 00:27:29

Not.

Liz Clyde: 00:27:32

Gotta be Legolas.

Nick Polk: 00:27:33

It's gotta be Legolas.

Liz Clyde: 00:27:34

That's where my, like, my true heart belongs. In. In this realm. You know, obviously, my husband is my favorite 3D person.

Evan Garcia: 00:28:21

What if it's. What if the elves concocted a device and instead of Legolas showing up at the bar, it's. It's. It's William from the Pirates of the Caribbean.

Liz Clyde: 00:28:37

So funny. Whenever we watch Pirates for one. And he goes, good day, Elizabeth. I make my husband rewind.

I make him rewind it so I can hear him say, good day, Elizabeth.

Evan Garcia: 00:28:51

He's talking to me. He's talking to me.

Liz Clyde: 00:28:53

I am Elizabeth. My husband puts up a lot of crap with me.

Nick Polk: 00:29:03

Dude. Insufferable. In the best way.

Liz Clyde: 00:29:06

Yeah, still, Legolas, like Overworld.

Nick Polk: 00:29:08

Okay.

Liz Clyde: 00:29:09

I used to have that poster. It was Orlando Bloom, like, in the middle. And then Legolas is one side, and then Will Turner was on the other side.

And that was supposed to own My ceilings. When I woke up, I saw all three.

Nick Polk: 00:29:23

Dude, that's fantastic. My wife's more of the Will Turner. Will Turner camp. She's a little Turner Camp. Yeah. The ceiling on my top poster was. Was Hillary Duffy. Lizzie McGuire.

Liz Clyde: 00:29:35

Who. Because I mean we have our job, so obviously I'm talking about my family with Legolas. Who. Who are you settling down with in Gondor?

Are you bringing your in real, like real life spouse with you? My husband doesn't listen to this podcast, so I can speak freely.

Evan Garcia: 00:29:53

Do they have therapists in the. In the middle Earth times? Because my wife is a therapist, so.

Liz Clyde: 00:30:03

Oh. I mean, jobs doesn't matter at this point.

Evan Garcia: 00:30:06

I'm just curious because I feel like.

Liz Clyde: 00:30:08

She would have to be the barkeep to listen to their problems.

Evan Garcia: 00:30:11

That. Or she'll be like, who was that guy? But she would be the. She would be the. She would be the. The. Like the good version of. Of the Snape guy. The. The.

The guy that was the assistant to the king, but he was.

Liz Clyde: 00:30:33

Oh, like the advisor.

Evan Garcia: 00:30:35

Yeah, the worm tongue. Yes. I was thinking of. Of parcel tongue, but that's ah.

Liz Clyde: 00:30:42

Wrong.

Nick Polk: 00:30:43

Harry Potter.

Evan Garcia: 00:30:43

Yeah.

Nick Polk: 00:30:44

They don't ever talk about it in the movies, but in the book there's the Houses of Healing in Minas Tirith and there's a main chick who's in charge. Her name's Ioreth and she is in charge of the Houses of Healing where Eowyn and Mary and Pippin are healed.

So she could be in charge of the Housing of Healing or at least be a part of it.

Liz Clyde: 00:31:04

You know about you, Nick, are you bringing your wife into Gander? Are you going to go with a character?

Nick Polk: 00:31:10

I probably bring. I'd probably bring Kelly because, you know, Arwen is, you know, specifically Liv Tyler. Arwen is one of my true love, but she's reserved for Aragorn.

And there's only three marriages between an elf and a human throughout the entire history of Middle Earth. And you know, I couldn't. I couldn't do it. I want to, but it probably. I'm too much of. I'm on the lower tier. I wouldn't make it.

So I'd have to, you know, settle for Kelly or whatever. It's Kelly with the I. Kelly with the I. It's actually a Y, sir.

Evan Garcia: 00:31:50

Oh, okay.

Nick Polk: 00:31:51

Get it right, Evan. Get my wife.

Evan Garcia: 00:31:53

I will name right.

Liz Clyde: 00:31:58

So what does your wife do in real life and how you would you, you know, translate it to Gandor?

Nick Polk: 00:32:04

She is. She's an accountant and so I feel like she could work in the treasury. Yeah, no doubt.

Evan Garcia: 00:32:10

There you go. Yeah.

Nick Polk: 00:32:11

Yeah, Keeper.

Liz Clyde: 00:32:13

I guess, like, my husband would have, if I did choose to bring him, which, reluctantly, since he's a worship pastor, he would just be the singer. It's pretty easy.

Evan Garcia: 00:32:23

What is that guitar? That is like. What's that?

Liz Clyde: 00:32:29

Is it delay?

Evan Garcia: 00:32:30

Yeah, but it has, like, a bend in the neck. Like, I see that sometimes in some, like, out of the. In the, like, Renaissance artwork, but sometimes I see in it in some Lord of the Rings stuff.

I'm like, this is weird. That little thing that kind of bends. I'm like, how do you play that?

Nick Polk: 00:32:49

Oh, it's. It's a loot.

Evan Garcia: 00:32:52

Oh, that's a loot. Oh, okay.

Nick Polk: 00:32:55

Yeah.

Evan Garcia: 00:32:55

Okay.

Nick Polk: 00:32:56

Yeah. You're talking about the thing where it goes to the top and then it bends, right?

Evan Garcia: 00:32:59

Yeah, yeah, that thing's whack. It's weird looking.

Liz Clyde: 00:33:02

What's crazy is, in Grandor, like, I'm pretty sure everything is single marriage, right? You don't see multi.

Nick Polk: 00:33:10

No. Yeah.

Evan Garcia: 00:33:11

I don't know. Yeah.

Liz Clyde: 00:33:12

Way to go, Gandor.

Nick Polk: 00:33:13

Yeah, everything is. Is single marriage. Yeah. The Lord of the Rings, even the elves too, then, you know.

Evan Garcia: 00:33:21

You know, what is a wedding like there?

Liz Clyde: 00:33:23

Well, they. We saw Sam's wedding, so it looked like pretty basic.

Evan Garcia: 00:33:27

Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nick Polk: 00:33:28

There's different ceremonies depending on which, you know, race you're a part of in Middle Earth.

Liz Clyde: 00:33:34

But yeah, like Isla's and I's. Love would be frowned upon.

Nick Polk: 00:33:37

Yeah.

Liz Clyde: 00:33:38

We would make it work.

Nick Polk: 00:33:39

Yeah.

Liz Clyde: 00:33:40

Well, because he's a full elf. Right. So he would have to be immortal. He couldn't choose.

Nick Polk: 00:33:45

It's true.

Liz Clyde: 00:33:47

I'll have my fun and then I'll let him move on.

Nick Polk: 00:33:49

Yeah. Yeah.

Liz Clyde: 00:33:50

And then I'll, like, settle down. Like, it. Maybe I like my 50s with someone else.

Nick Polk: 00:33:54

Yeah. Do you like. Yeah. Do you like the bit, like, forbidden love thing? And then.

Liz Clyde: 00:33:59

Yeah, yeah.

Evan Garcia: 00:34:00

You will write a book about it and you have Twilight in. In the Lord of the Rings.

Liz Clyde: 00:34:05

Well, wow, we're on to something here.

Evan Garcia: 00:34:09

Yeah. And then they make a movie on it, and then that has. That has vampire elves.

Nick Polk: 00:34:17

Tolkien actually did write a little. It's not published in.

It's not canon technically, but there is a girl who's in love with an elf and she tries to talk to another elf about, hey, I think we could make it work. And then he's like, nah, you can't.

Evan Garcia: 00:34:33

That's hilarious. Really?

Nick Polk: 00:34:35

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Evan Garcia: 00:34:38

He.

Nick Polk: 00:34:38

He had. He had some issues with love, which he. He was married to his wife from when they were, like, in their teens, early 20s, maybe 21. Maybe.

Evan Garcia: 00:34:48

Arranged almost, or.

Nick Polk: 00:34:49

No, no, it was like. It was actually kind of forbidden. Like, he.

Evan Garcia: 00:34:53

Oh.

Nick Polk: 00:34:54

Like, they were both orphans and they were in, like, an orphan house and they were hanging out, and he was trying to get a scholarship to Oxford, and his guardian forbid him from seeing her until he was 18 or 21 or. I can't remember how old.

And, like, the day of his birthday, he went out to talk to her, and she had gotten engaged, and he convinced her to break off her engagement and they got married.

Liz Clyde: 00:35:21

What a guy.

Nick Polk: 00:35:23

Yeah.

Evan Garcia: 00:35:23

Wow.

Nick Polk: 00:35:24

Tolkien.

Evan Garcia: 00:35:27

They should make a limited series on that.

Nick Polk: 00:35:30

There's a mood. There's a biopic called Tolkien. So.

Evan Garcia: 00:35:33

Yeah.

Nick Polk: 00:35:34

And they do. They focus on it. You know, he was a Rizzler, so.

Evan Garcia: 00:35:37

That'S what the kids do, right?

Nick Polk: 00:35:38

Oh, yeah, he was me. He. He was mewing super hard.

Evan Garcia: 00:35:43

My son does. That is so funny.

Liz Clyde: 00:35:45

Stupid Gen Z language.

Evan Garcia: 00:35:49

Yeah. I was just like, what are you doing, son? He goes, I'm mewing that. I'm like, okay.

Nick Polk: 00:35:59

The kids these days, you know, it's.

Liz Clyde: 00:36:01

Crazy, but I'm just so sad. I'm gonna, like, forget all the, I guess, trending lingo now that I'm out of education. But it is what it is.

Nick Polk: 00:36:09

It's true. You're missing out.

Liz Clyde: 00:36:10

I'm missing so much. So much.

Evan Garcia: 00:36:13

I wonder what kind of trending lingo was in the Lord of the. In Algondor, in a place like that. Like, what is, like, the equivalent of Gen Z speak? Is there, like, a lower tier kind of language or.

Nick Polk: 00:36:29

Yeah, I mean.

Liz Clyde: 00:36:31

The Goblins.

Nick Polk: 00:36:32

Yeah, the Goblins.

Evan Garcia: 00:36:34

Right, right.

Liz Clyde: 00:36:36

Uneducated language. What would you think is the worst jobs in Gandor?

Nick Polk: 00:36:40

Oh. Oh, man. Cleaning up the dead bodies. Yeah.

Liz Clyde: 00:36:44

Corpse retrieval.

Nick Polk: 00:36:45

Yeah. Wait, which one did you say?

Evan Garcia: 00:36:47

Evan Poop Smith.

Liz Clyde: 00:36:48

Like the chambermaid.

Nick Polk: 00:36:49

Is that a home star reference?

Evan Garcia: 00:36:51

Yes, sir. High five. High five.

Nick Polk: 00:36:53

High five right there. Come on.

Evan Garcia: 00:36:56

The Poop Smith. Yeah. No, for real, though, that would be a horrible job. And they probably. Right, because. Did they have plumbing. I'm sorry. Stuff in my head.

Because they would have to throw stuff out into the streets like they did in the colonial times. Right.

Liz Clyde: 00:37:15

Okay. I think the worst job would be, I think, if you had to serve a really abusive household, because. You know what I mean?

Because, like, if you had to, like, remove bodies or something, at least, like, you can kind of, like, put your head to the ground and, like, just get it done.

Evan Garcia: 00:37:32

I need more grapes. We ain't got no Grapes.

Liz Clyde: 00:37:34

Right. Like, yeah. Being, like, having to serve an abusive mistress.

Evan Garcia: 00:37:37

Oh, my goodness.

Liz Clyde: 00:37:38

The worst. Like, physically and mentally, like, 80.

Evan Garcia: 00:37:41

Like a.

Liz Clyde: 00:37:42

Hey, like Cinderella.

Evan Garcia: 00:37:44

Evil stepmother. Yes, exactly. Yeah, that would. No, thank you.

Nick Polk: 00:37:48

You'd have to be there like Pippin, watching your master, eating to cherry tomatoes and chicken, you know?

Liz Clyde: 00:37:55

Yeah. And then, like, spend the whole day trying to find. Yeah, I would probably. I would rather be homeless.

Nick Polk: 00:38:02

Yeah, that's fair.

Liz Clyde: 00:38:03

I would just be, like, chilling on the streets, begging.

Nick Polk: 00:38:06

I can't take it anymore. I mean, it is minister. That's the capital. You're pro. It's like, probably being homeless in, like, la. You know, it's like a nice.

Liz Clyde: 00:38:14

Yeah, I'll find me a nice dog.

Nick Polk: 00:38:17

Right? You'll be vibing. Yeah, for sure.

Evan Garcia: 00:38:20

There's a big tree in the middle, so you got shade.

Liz Clyde: 00:38:24

Yeah, Right.

Evan Garcia: 00:38:26

That's the one with the big tree, right? The.

Nick Polk: 00:38:29

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Evan Garcia: 00:38:31

Okay. Okay.

Nick Polk: 00:38:32

Yeah, yeah. Not on fire, though, so.

Evan Garcia: 00:38:34

Oh, yeah, don't run around on fire. I forgot. Is that deleted scene or. That's in the movie. Is that where he runs out and he falls out on fire?

Nick Polk: 00:38:46

Oh, no, that's in the. Yeah, that's in the original. That's in the regular. Was it theatrical cut? Yeah, for sure.

Evan Garcia: 00:38:52

Right, right, right. Cool, cool. Yeah.

Liz Clyde: 00:38:53

Do you think life in Gandor would be less stressful than life today? And if we had those jobs.

Evan Garcia: 00:39:00

Okay.

Liz Clyde: 00:39:01

Like, if I had to innkeep a job, I would be chilling.

Evan Garcia: 00:39:04

It depends. It depends if we went into that world from this world or. Or did we. Or, like. Or, like, are we born and raised in that?

Liz Clyde: 00:39:17

Let's do. Let's do this, like, straight anime style where we wake up tomorrow, we're reincarnated and we're in the bodies. We just talked about the.

No war, though. We can't do more.

Evan Garcia: 00:39:26

Okay.

Liz Clyde: 00:39:27

Okay. So I literally, like, walk in front of a bus and now I wake up and I am an innkeeper.

Evan Garcia: 00:39:32

Okay. Okay. I think I would hate it. Okay.

Liz Clyde: 00:39:36

You would have kids in a wife. You would miss. I would miss. But then I would move on.

Evan Garcia: 00:39:40

There's no AC and stuff. And, like, no, thank you. There's no.

Liz Clyde: 00:39:44

You chose blacksmithing. Of course there's no ac.

Nick Polk: 00:39:48

You're like, still.

Evan Garcia: 00:39:49

I would go home and it's still hot. It's like, no, thank you. Screw that. I would be like, where's my elf? Where's. Where's. Where's my magic elf? Or he's gonna make a big Stargate.

Liz Clyde: 00:40:06

So Dobby's in there.

Evan Garcia: 00:40:08

Yeah. Throw him a Sock.

Liz Clyde: 00:40:15

I feel like my innkeeper life would be more chill. I wouldn't have to worry about bill. The bills I have to worry about here. And like cores and just all the like the random extras we have. So stressful.

Yeah. Like student loans. Trying to like build and save for retirement. You just worked until you died.

Nick Polk: 00:40:34

It's true. It was basically feudalism. You know, like you said, you're working but you're providing a service and you don't have to pay rent or the bills.

Evan Garcia: 00:40:41

Yeah.

Nick Polk: 00:40:42

You know, so you've got a guaranteed place to say. And if you do a good job, the king's gonna be like, you know, Liz is a pretty good barkeep.

She keeps people, you know, she keeps the money flowing into Gondor. You know, she gets to. Yeah.

Liz Clyde: 00:40:56

And then in that generational times, like granted, like it just depends on now. Like when you have kids it's normal for them to take care of you. So like you don't have to work the rest of your life.

And it was more I think family oriented. Whereas like now like kids, they. People can't even take care of themselves.

So you have these, this older generation and now they can't work, they didn't save. They can't take care of themselves with their kids weren't smart with their money. So they don't have the financial means to take care of them.

And so it's like a generational broke curse. But you don't really worry about that. Either you broke or you don't. You're not there. Either you work hard or you don't. But easier said than done.

And my end's gonna be fantastic with the. I like the dragons keep better.

Nick Polk: 00:41:40

It's true. I think it would depend on the time period. Like if it was because post the third Age all the magical stuff pretty much goes away.

But if I'm like there firmly somewhere where elves and dwarves are still rocking and I'm gonna, you know, live in this era where I'm. I'll die before any of that starts disappearing. I'll take it. But I don't know if I don't want.

I don't know if I'd want to live in, you know, medieval era Minis Tirith, you know, kind of.

Liz Clyde: 00:42:08

I always thought it'd be so fun.

Nick Polk: 00:42:10

Yeah. Like I, I also, I kind of, I want to be in the battles. Like I wanna, I wanna fight some. Fight some orcs and risk it.

Evan Garcia: 00:42:17

You know, I'll be screaming from the sidelines, yeah, get him. I'm not fighting. I Know way.

Liz Clyde: 00:42:23

No, I'll be like, in the back on a horse. We're like, we're winning. Yeah. I was like, we did this. And I, like, not even lift the finger, but I'm there.

Evan Garcia: 00:42:33

Yeah. Yeah. And me being a blacksmith and. And since I came to this world from.

Since I came to Middle Earth from this world, I would need glasses, so I would. I would come up with a special kind of glass, and I would make and invent glasses so I would be the king of town.

Liz Clyde: 00:42:58

Because they had magnifying glasses and, like, telescopes right in Middle Earth, they didn't have glasses.

Evan Garcia: 00:43:03

Yeah, they had, like, the scopes, I think, right?

Liz Clyde: 00:43:05

Yeah, they had the scopes. So, like, it's not like the technology wasn't completely there. Right. On it.

Nick Polk: 00:43:12

Yeah, that's true. That's true. And, you know, they probably had some other magical items.

Maybe you could, you know, fix your eyes or use, you know, one of the stones to see clear. I don't know.

Evan Garcia: 00:43:23

Okay. Yeah. Put some face cream and then. Ta da.

Nick Polk: 00:43:27

Yeah.

Evan Garcia: 00:43:28

Yeah, that'd be cool.

Nick Polk: 00:43:29

Yeah. Some of the.

Evan Garcia: 00:43:30

Kind of like how Jesus spit into the mud.

Nick Polk: 00:43:33

Yeah, the. The mud from the. The dead marshes, you know, maybe there's some magical qualities in there. You know, good for your skin. You know, maybe.

Maybe not for your eyes. They kind of had, like, white eyes, you know, when they're open. But, you know, maybe good for your skin. I don't know.

Evan Garcia: 00:43:48

Maybe it's Maybelline.

Liz Clyde: 00:43:49

Oh, maybe.

Nick Polk: 00:43:50

Maybe.

Liz Clyde: 00:43:53

Easy breezy, beautiful covergirl.

Nick Polk: 00:43:56

Wow.

Liz Clyde: 00:44:00

And this ad is now sponsored by. Nothing yet. Yet. Please sponsor us Maybelline, our Covergirl. But also Patreons.

If you guys want to up your subscription or if you're listening and you want to become a Patreon. Shameless plug.

Nick Polk: 00:44:16

Get on there. Get on the. Get on the Patreon.

Liz Clyde: 00:44:19

Then we wouldn't need Maybelline or CoverGirl because we have our beautiful listeners.

Evan Garcia: 00:44:24

Yeah. Can't do without them. So those have been some good scenarios, I think. I think we came up some pretty. Some pretty cool.

Some cool livelihood for ourselves in this. I'm glad. I want to say thank you to the Facebook group that chose this. There was a lot of choices, and this one won out. So that was cool.

That was good. So what do you guys think? You guys are satisfied in your roles?

Liz Clyde: 00:44:57

I think so I'm gonna serve you tea in both ways. If you come to the dragons, keep the hot kind and the gossip kind.

Evan Garcia: 00:45:06

Yeah.

Nick Polk: 00:45:08

Lizard Liz is, you know, tea time with Liz. I don't know.

Liz Clyde: 00:45:13

We'll Just keep on figuring out the name. It's a work in progress.

Evan Garcia: 00:45:16

And then you'll have some merch.

Liz Clyde: 00:45:18

I should have some merch. Maybe it's like a lizard drinking some tea. A dragon drinking tea.

Nick Polk: 00:45:23

Yes.

Liz Clyde: 00:45:25

I'm. Have someone draw me that.

Nick Polk: 00:45:27

Tapestries.

Liz Clyde: 00:45:28

You know, I'm gonna get AI to make me an image of a dragon drinking tea.

Nick Polk: 00:45:33

Ooh, yeah. Yeah, do it, do it. Yeah, I feel pretty good, too. You know, I. I think that. Especially lighting the beacons. Like, I've had. I've.

I've had BS Jobs before where I'm just kind of vibing, you know, I'm kind of in the back, low key. You just. You need me. When you need me, I'm vibing, you know? And then, of course, if I'm. If I'm a creative in the bar, you know, I'm.

I'm just creating. Getting paid.

Evan Garcia: 00:46:03

Yeah.

Nick Polk: 00:46:04

And. And all that stuff, you know, getting paid in pints. Oh, yeah.

Evan Garcia: 00:46:09

Cool. Cool. Well, all right. This has been fun, and thank you for listening, everybody. Please, like, share. Tell your friends, tell your.

Tell your babies, tell your. Tell your niece and nephews about it. And see you next time, Deuces.

Liz Clyde: 00:46:31

Bye. Bye.